Confessions of a Serial Plant Killer

I can't help myself. Every few months, I'll be strolling through a nursery or a Home Depot and I'll see a poor, unsuspecting young, green houseplant -- and I just can't resist. I bring it home with me, transplant it, place it in a nice sunny spot, and diligently water it.

But it doesn't take long -- a few weeks, maybe a month -- and I get busy, forgetful. I lose interest. before you know it, my lovely little plant looks something like this one. We'll call him, "Bob":

Yes, I am ashamed of my neglectful behavior. And even more ashamed of the number of plants in my house that look like Bob -- or worse.

So this week, I set out to restore some of my green karma by caring for -- or bidding farewell -- to all the poor, neglected plants in my house.


LT No. 7: Bob (Time: 5 minutes)

Believe it or not, Bob is one of the healthier plants in my household. I think his prognosis is pretty good -- as long as he escapes my house. So I did some careful pruning and took him to my office. Turns out, I'm a pretty good plant caregiver as long as the plants are at my office. That's because I always have leftover water in my water bottle each morning, so I divvy it up among my plants during the week. So Bob now has a new home, and I hope that will get him on the road to recovery.

LT No. 8: The Orchid (Time: 15 minutes)

Now, in my defense, I seldom see an orchid -- outside of a nursery -- that looks any better than this one. In fact, without me doing a darn thing, this orchid is sending out a shoot that looks like one day it may even bloom again.

But in truth, it's sent out shoots before and never bloomed, so I did a little research to see what I could do to increase the chances of seeing an orchid blossom again.

Turns out a little water (from the bottom) and a sunnier spot might do the trick. I'll give you a progress report in a few months.


LT No. 8: Amaryllis (Time: 15 minutes)

I love watching an amaryllis progress from what looks like a clump of dirt into a giant plant with a gorgeous lily-like blossom -- and in the dead of winter no less. But for the life of me, I have never been able to make one bloom twice.

Ok, I've never really tried. I just water them until they wither and then stick them in a dark corner. Turns out that's the right thing to do! I just never bothered to take the next step and bring the poor things out into the light again.

So this week, I brought them out of the basement, gave them a shot of water, and sat them on the south-facing window sill. One of them has a green shoot already!

LT No. 9 & 10: The African Violets (Time: 30+ minutes)

I confess that I tried to save my African violet a few months ago by trying to transplant it. Instead, I broke the thing in two. Since then, I've had one poor pathetic plant (exhibit A to the left) in a pot, and a second one in a glass of water on my window sill (exhibit B below). I was trying to get it to sprout some roots.

The one of the glass of water actually fared better than the one in the pot. In fact, I ushered the potted violet on to where it can be put to better use -- into the compost pile.

The other one, however, I have tried to save. It required a trip to the Home Depot for a new pot and some potting soil (thus, the 30+ minutes). I can't say I have high hopes for this one, but I've done my best.

LT No. 11: The Bromeliad (Time: 5 minutes)

Once again, I hopped onto the Internet to figure out what to do with this poor fella.

Because the flower pot had begun to rust out, I performed a transplant, trimmed the dead leaves, and then gave him a shot of water in the center of the plant -- instructions care of the World Wide Web. (I'm afraid I've gone overboard on the water, though, because he looks a little worse for wear now).


LT. 12: Anemone in a Bag (Time: 20 minutes -- not including 12 hours soaking the bulbs)


When we first moved into our house two years ago, a neighbor brought over a housewarming gift -- an "Anemone in a Bag" kit. Everything you need to force the bulbs came wrapped in a lovely bag -- but I, of course, never got around to setting it up. Until this week.


I did my own thing, though. The instructions said to plant the bulbs in the bag, but I thought they'd look better in a mason jar. So I soaked the bulbs and the soil, dumped all the ingredients in a quart jar and it's sitting in my kitchen window. Anemones on the rise!

LT No. 13 & 14: John & Jane Doe

These two little plants were impulse purchases from the Home Depot a few years ago -- and given the neglect they've suffered, they really survived for quite a long time. I have no idea what kind of plants they are and I had long since lost the little tags that come with them.

With no way of identifying them, I couldn't rely on the World Wide Web to help me right my wrong. So with the help of an iPhone, I sent photos (oh, the shame) of the Does to a friend's father -- a botanist.

I believe I heard him openly weeping at the sight of these poor plants. But he advised me that their best chance of survival was if I trimmed them all the way back to the dirt. So that is what I have done. Let's hope it works!

To be continued ... 

This week, I will carry on with my Little Things -- I'm thinking of focusing on re-connecting with old friends. But I'll keep you up to date on the progress in my greenhouse.

Peas,

LucyB